NSFW - "Kid lost his damn mind..."

If there's going to be any progress on this friggin' project from Hell, it's going to be at the expense of my sanity if I don't do SOMETHING. My brain is mush, and I just dumped 300 pages of notes and reference all over the damn place.
I did everything I could to not pop a chip and start heaving things across the room.

Seriously, Kid?

In every damn room of the house I've got stuff for a sim. I'm making no progress. It's the stupidest idea ever. I lack the skills and the focus to make it happen. And right now all I can think of is to re-(re-re-)dedicate myself to defining WHAT the PROVERBIAL FUCK I'm trying to do.  Maybe that will keep me from chasing my tail. I'm having an incredibly hard time organizing any of it, mentally or materially. This is an obsession, and I'm beginning to doubt my sanity fairly frequently because I can't let it go!

There's never really been much doubt. 

I'm spending almost all of my spare time either trying to learn programming enough to write a backbone manager for the sim, or chasing better programming options to make it easier to code.
I have written shit code in seven languages, all of which fall just shy of doing anything.

Skip it - I need a programmer.

Physical materials and "set dressing" for the GeekPit is taking over. It's crept into the tattoo studio, of all places, with an LED gizmo or gadget I had just built, on display because I wanted somebody other than me to see it. There's a free-standing black metal triple monitor mount (with monitors) and the captain's seat from the old van in the corner of my lobby. Yes, the lobby of my work that's IN MY HOUSE. My garage is half full of tools collected for the project, and the other half is full of shit collected over 8 years, unceremoniously dumped in bins and crates. What would my life and living space look like if I didn't have this obsession?

WHY?!?!?!? Why the HELL can't I just walk away from this damn thing!!!

Anything worth doing is worth doing well, including losing your mind. 

What exactly is IT? What the hell am I doing? Why am I doing it? 

I keep telling myself that this is how I'm going to bring that kid with the incredible imagination back.

I'm going to build the thing that he saw, drew pictures of, and believed in. I lost myself as an adult, more than a few times now. I need to let that kid speak. I need to let him tell the stories.

I, as the adult version of him, have access to skills, tools, and materials that I could never have dreamed as that child. It's 2020. This is the future, kid! While I may not be able to lay out the shell in CAD, I can tell you what it feels like to sit in the pilot's seat. I know where the switches and controls are. And I'm getting more confident that I can build it.  

Just not today...

It's late. I'm frustrated. But next week, I'll get settled at the Maker Space. I'll introduce myself as a crazy tattoo artist that's building a spaceship. That should break the ice nicely.

 And then, I'll start the design process. Next post I'll be outlining the scope and goals and sharing some of the reference material in an attempt to create a design guide or project outline or... whatever I need to call it as long as I start breaking down the project. Since the project is supposed to be as much a set piece as a simulator environment, I'm going to try to scope it as a prop shop or practical effects house would approach it. It's a friggin' space ship. I have free reign to create whatever illusions I wish to convince the participants they are in a "real" working space ship. The game does the work, I just need to make it "talk" to the sim. I can;t get help if I don't know what to ask for, so I'm designing it as a prop room, or an escape room you don't want to escape.  

Why yes, the plans DO include a beverage fridge!

More pics. More media. More progress. Stay tuned. If you made it this far, I'm promise I'm
not going to disappoint. I just need to find a method of putting out the data so you, the reader, can benefit from my disjointed ramblings and build your own dream. I'll stop bitching and whining and get down to the business of "selling my sim" in order to get the help and guidance I need.

Thanks for being patient. I assure you real nuts and bolts content is on the way.

"A SimPit would really tie the room together!"

It's 2020. A new decade. Maybe it's time to define the project and get on with it already!

I bought a house. Finally. My job and my living space are now in the same location. My schedule and bills are under control. My free time can be anything I want now! It wasn't too long before the project started pulling me back in, and with a ridiculous vengeance. "Start building it now, or you never will." Well, ok. WHERE am I supposed to put it?!

I'm networking with the local Maker Space. My tool collection may have grown, but theirs are bigger, well maintained and there's knowledgeable people there to help. Many of them won't even blink when I tell them I'm building a spaceship, as long as I'm clear about my goals and can show a plan.And they have spaces to rent so my stuff would have it's own home! I've paid storage fees to just hold the stuff and now I have a chance to actually work and build! Plan the project, get started making the pieces, and some day I'll have this thing working. Just follow the plan!

Well, there isn't really a plan. There's a thousand experiments, reams of paper, and gizmos and proof of concept mock-ups but no real plan. I was always looking for tools, or space, or knowledge and not really sitting down to figure out WHAT I'M REALLY TRYING TO ACCOMPLISH!

For anyone to take this seriously, I'm going to have to put the thoughts together and lay out the project. I can't ask for help if I'm not sure what I'm trying to accomplish. That's where I'm at.

So join me as we dive into Starship Building 101. This is the year, I'm too far into this to stop now.

Just a quick note today - I'm getting my thoughts and materials together. Even if I'm just documenting the ride for myself, I feel like it will be helpful. Someone can learn a lot about obsessive and delusional behavior from this material.

Of that I have no doubt.

Next up: A layman's guide to building a starship!